All bad

Well if last week was only half bad this week in terms of diet anyway was like 200% bad.  I fell off after 1 day and then just ate bad food and too much of it the rest of the week.  I know I gained but because the last few days my sleep schedule has been so off I don't even want to weight myself yet knowing that will just make it worse.

Today I did alright.  Not really good but not bad.  I need to get back to cooking more.  Anything I make at home will always be better than what I eat when I am out.  But that means getting my schedule more under control.  Because I eat out when I am lacking sleep and then don't get up early enough before work to make anything.  Sigh... really always the same problems over and over again.  I wish I could find the will power to break the cycle.

Today is Valentine's Day.  Oddly I am less annoyed to be single today than I am many regular days.  It probably has to do with the guy I met at work this past week.  Cue rant...

It seems I am doomed to only attract men I am not attracted to at all.  When I was on the psych unit a couple weeks back I chatted a bunch with one of the aides who was super helpful.  I ran into him last Wednesday on the way into work and he asked for my number.  I figured no harm in giving it to him.  When I had met him I didn't think of him like that but he was nice and it always feels good to have someone like you.  Man did that quickly go down hill.  He started texting me at work.  Now his unit at night there is nothing to do.  Mine is not like that.  I answered him that I would be busy until after med pass.  And 3 times in the next 2 hours he texted to see if I was still passing meds.  When I finally answered him we chatted a bit back and forth and he came across so patronizing.  Basically when I told him how busy I am because I have to work 2 jobs and am doing school he asked if I should be doing that much.  Shouldn't I give up school if I have to work that much or find another way.  Hi... we just met.  You don't know me at all or what I can handle.  That night I had a very sick patient so I finally texted saying I was really busy and I would get back to him when I had time.  In the next 3 hours I got like 5 more texts.  I was busy and just ignored them.  At the beginning when he was coming off kinda like my mom felt the need to look after me I had thought if he ask me out I will go at least once.  But by the time I got off about 45 min late and saw he sent a text asking if I made it home safe (hello I live 5 miles from the damn hospital and am not 15) I was done.  So the next few days when he would ask if I had time to go out with him I just kept saying how busy I was with work and school hoping he would take the hint.  He did not.  Instead he started sounding very annoyed that I would not make time for him.  This kept on until Saturday night.  At work I was just dead tired.  I had worked Friday night then drove down to SD to meet up with friends I haven't seen in over a year.  This resulted in being back at work with no sleep.  So I ignored him all night.  He sent at least 10 texts.  So last night at work after a few more texts I finally just replied that I was flattered he liked me and I was happy to chat with him when we were both at work but that I didn't have the time or desire for anything more.  His response came about an hour later once it was Feb 14th and said "Happy Valentine's Day Sweetheart."  WTF!!!  But there has been nothing since thank goodness.

As I told my friend the other night at least this was a move in the right direction.  The last guy before him who expressed interest in me was a married guy.  So at least this one was single!

It is odd.  I know I am busy but I feel like I do and would have time for someone if I was really attracted to him.  But I wasn't and so it just felt like an annoying waste of time.  Not to mention the fact that he had terrible grammar and spelling via text which just drives me insane.  Another odd thing I find is that the longer I am single the pickier I am when it comes to men.  I would have thought I would be willing to revise my wishes or standards in order not to be alone.  But that just isn't the case.  The more I watch friends in their relationships the more I find I would rather stay alone than have the types of relationships many of them have.

On a positive note I am still keeping up with my school work.  The course is only 8 weeks so I am 1/4 done and have my first test this week.  Fingers crossed that goes well.